Sunday, August 7, 2011

If You Give a Nesting Pregnant Woman a Bottle of All-Purpose Cleaner

If you give a nesting pregnant woman a bottle of all-purpose cleaner, she will clean all of her kitchen counters.  As she makes her way to the stove, she'll notice the back splash could use a little attention as well.  The back splash will lead to her cleaning a missed splatter from last night's dinner on the wall and a drop of blood that was the result of chopping potatoes for potato salad way too late one night.  For the record, the nesting pregnant woman thought she cleaned all those blood spots when the injury occurred, but nesting eyes can see spots, stains, and imperfections way better than the average eye.

Cleaning the walls will lead to baseboards which will take her throughout the main level of her house.  While she's on her hands and knees cleaning baseboards, she'll notice the floors could use some attention.  So, she'll get a broom and sweep.  Then, she'll mop the floors.  Then, she reasons that since all the hard wood floors are nice and clean, vacuuming won't take much time, so all the carpets will get vacuumed.  While vacuuming, she'll notice several spots in the carpets that could use some stain remover, so back on her hands and knees she goes scrubbing stains.  After she finishes this, she'll notice she's walking with a limp and her sciatic nerve is  literally being a pain in the tail.  So, she'll get out the heating pad and lay down for a bit.

While she's nursing her aching back, she'll look up and notice the light fixtures could stand to be washed.  So, she'll pull out the step stool to start on those.  When she makes her way into the master bathroom for those light fixtures, the nesting pregnant woman will notice that as always, the bathroom needs cleaning.  So, she makes her way through the bathrooms on the main level, and as she's finishing the upstairs bathroom, she starts putting away all the little toys, shoes, and other items that have collected in various spots.  This reminds her that the playroom could be more organized.  After she organizes the playroom and is taking more items to their proper place, she walks by the glass door that leads to the deck and notices it has little finger prints all over it.  She grabs the glass cleaner, and wipes the door down which leads to windows and mirrors as well. 

By this time, the nesting pregnant woman has worked up quite the thirst, so she goes back to the kitchen to fix a glass of water.  As she opens the cabinet, she thinks to herself that the cabinets sure would look nice if they were organized.  Chances are, if she decides to organize a cabinet, she'll notice it needs wiping and reach for the bottle of all-purpose cleaner...

Once she is satisfied with the way her house looks, the nesting pregnant woman will have an aching back, swollen ankles, and pruney fingers, but there won't be a crevice of her home that is not sparkling and organized.  That is, until her husband and other small children get home.

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