Sunday, April 25, 2010

Notes from the Never Files

We've all thought it.  "I will never...," or "My child will never..."  But how may times have we eaten those words?  I'd be willing to bet almost as many times as we said them.  It's really quite laughable - all the things I never thought would happen.  Here are a few notes from the Never Files.

Pottying with an audience
It's supposed to be a private matter, right?  But, last summer, after Grace had been potty trained for a few months, I realized going to the bathroom had become a family event.  Emma Kate, who was 8 months old was sitting on my lap.  Yes, my lap.  Grace was laying on her tummy with her chin resting in her hands in front of me. She erupted with cheers and proclaimed "Yay, Mommy!  You tinkled!"

Sure I've wondered about the color of shoes, or curtains, or dresses.  But, I never thought I'd be curious about the color of a dirty diaper.  No more explanation is needed.  If you are a parent, you've been there.

Leaving the house with various stains
I've always prided myself with looking put together.  After I became a mama, it was more like throwing on the  "cleanest" thing available.  I've left the house with spit up, snot, dried baby food, and who knows what else more times than I care to be pointed out to me.

Being a willing human kleenex
There are times when a wipe or tissue just isn't available.  Is it disgusting?  Yes.  Is it my finest hour?  Nope.  But, if it comes down between a toddler's meltdown over snot running down her face or my shirt getting a little facial liquid on it, the shirt is going down.

I never thought I'd be the mom toting a costume clad toddler.  I realized these words had been eaten when I introduced my daughter the tutu wearing, faux diamond sporting, lipstick donning princess to an acquaintence at Wal-Mart.

This is only a glimpse into the Never Files.  I'll post more at a later date.  Leave a comment and share your own notes from the never files!

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